Days 15 and 16 of Thankfulness: Oma and new life

Day 15

Today I am thankful for “Oma” (Nicks grandmother).  There have been a few times over the years when she just seems to know when I need a little encouragement.  Yesterday I was feeling a little burned out and overwhelmed with all the chaos that comes with being a mama.  Please understand I know how blessed I am to have my little ones, but sometimes it is just hard.  I was feeling defeated and frustrated with myself and my lack of patience lately.  As I was getting ready for bed last night, I received an encouraging e-mail from Oma reminding me that I am doing a great job, and that I do not have to be perfect.  Her e-mail reminded me that we tend to be our own biggest critics.  No one makes us feel like we are not living up to our expectations more than ourselves.  She reminded me to be kind to myself.  

These words of encouragement rang loudly in my decisions today.  I felt rejuvenated.  Ready to take on the biggest of toddler tantrums.  I remembered to take lots of deep breaths, choose my battles, and that my main job is to love these little ones as best as I can.  Sometimes this means letting the messy things go and choosing to embrace the little special moments of spontaneous dance parties and toddler potty humor.  

Today I am thankful for Oma. 

Day 16

Today I am thankful for new life.  This morning my neighbor gave birth at home to a baby boy.  The feeling of new beginnings and life filled the neighborhood as we chatted with excitement about the new baby.  I could not help but be reminded of the day my babies were born and the new love that was born in me as a mama.  

I am thankful for new life not only in the literal sense of a newborn baby but also in the new life that I am continuously being born into.  Each challenge I overcome, each time I am given grace.  

Today I am thankful for new life. 

Days 13 and 14 of Thankfulness: Pigeons and Growth

Day 13 (November 13, 2011)

Today I am thankful for our day trip to San Francisco.  We are so blessed to live right next door to San Francisco.  It really is a beautiful city.  We are also blessed to have a friend like Andy who is patient enough to spend the day in this beautiful, yet busy and hectic city with our family that includes a VERY curious 2 ½ year old.  When he suggested the 6 block walk to the Bart station from his house, I am sure he never imagined this would take over an hour.  We had the brilliant idea of letting Franklin walk (she says sarcastically).  He stopped at every pigeon, every item he found on the ground, at everything.  As crazy as this day in the city was, it was great seeing how happy it all made Frank.  He was running up and down the street with almost as much excitement as he had while trick-or-treating this Halloween. 

Today I am thankful for our day trip to San Francisco. 

Day 14 (November 14, 2011)

Today I am thankful for growth.  I love being at home with my babies.  I do.  However, can I admit that sometimes it is really hard?  Can I be that vulnerable for a moment?  Sometimes it can be so overwhelming I need to take a step outside and take a deep breath of fresh air before walking back in to deal with the baby who is crying, most likely because the toddler attempted a somersault over her head.  And in those moments, I am less than who I want to be.  I raise my voice, or give in to winey demands.  I am not perfect.  I do not need to be.  Nevertheless, I want to be better.  More patient.  I’ve prayed for it.  Yet, it doesn’t come easily.  Sometimes, like today, this frustrates me.  Isn’t praying to be better a good thing?  What is the harm in making this come easily?  Perhaps there is no harm in things coming easily.  But, perhaps there is benefit in stretching myself.  Even when it is the harder way to go.  Perhaps actively practicing patience during those hard moments is what makes me a better person, not just better in the moment.  Perhaps.  I hope so anyways. 

Today I am thankful for Growth.

Day 12 of Thankfulness: Clean and Happy

Today I am thankful for shower time with my daughter.  Elenita’s favorite thing in the whole world is to take showers with me.  The minute she hears the water go on she starts kicking her legs with excitement.  Once we step in and she feels the warm water on her back, she does not stop cooing.  She snuggles up close to me licking the water off my shoulders.  She is blissful! I love these moments with her.  Just me and my gal.  I love making her this happy.  Her happiness completes me.  Fills me with joy.  

Today I am thankful for shower time with my daughter.

Days 10 and 11 of Thankfulness: Franklin, his papa and a bowl of blueberries.

Things have been a little crazy this week and I have not had much time to write so I am compacting a couple days of into one post. 

Day 10 (November 10, 2011)

Today I am thankful for the relationship between my son and his papa.  I recently read that you should never marry anyone you would not want your child to be like and I can safely say I have made a good choice.  I LOVE how much Franklin and Nick LOVE each other.  Whole-heartedly.  Nick is the kind of papa that stays up with him when he is sick, gives him baths, takes him outside to play for hours, cooks breakfast with him, and the list goes on for miles.  Franklin genuinely enjoys spending time with his papa more than anyone on the planet.  

Today I am thankful for the relationship between my son and his papa.  Today, Franklin and I made a list of things Franklin knows about his papa.  It was adorable to hear the answers Frank came up with, like that Nick is 2 ft 2 in. tall or that his favorite drink is baby food.  My favorite part of this activity was the ear-to-ear smile that was on Frank’s face the entire time we were talking about his dad.

Today I am thankful for the relationship between my son and his papa.  

Day 11 (November 11, 2011)

Today I am thankful to share a bowl of blueberries with Frank.  Simple?  Yes.  However, if you know my son you know that blueberries are his favorite thing in the whole world! He asked for a bowl, brought them over to the couch, and asked me if I would like to share.  How could I say no to that?  We made silly jokes and laughed together while filling our bellies with delicious blueberry goodness.  I love these moments.  Moments of simple happiness.  

Today I am thankful to share a bowl of blueberries with Frank.

Day 8 and 9 of Thankfulness: Health and Rest

Day 8

Today I am thankful that we finally found a pediatrician we like.  Last year we switched insurances, and had to leave our wonderful nurse practitioner at the Indian Health Center.  She always informed of all our options and never made us feel crazy for taking unconventional approaches to medicine.  So, of course we were sad to leave her.  We tried and failed to find a replacement for an entire year.  We tried three different pediatricians who were much too quick to dismiss our needs and even quicker  to run expensive unnecessary test with little to no reason at all.  I actually think one of them was afraid of children.  Franklin would always scream from the moment we entered the exam room until we were out the door.  Any ways, last month we tried a new doctor for Elena’s wellness check up and really liked him.  He spent time with us.  Asking us questions and providing a lot of information about himself and his philosophies, which for the most part we agreed with.  However, the ultimate test would be how he handled Franklin.  Yesterday, we took him in because he had a high fever and a horrible cough.  And for the first time since Franklin was born he did not scream throughout the entire visit.  He was even laughing!  As we left he said to us “That was fun.  We should go back.”  

Today I am thankful that we finally found a pediatrician we like.

Day 9 

Today I am thankful for an early bedtime.  Having a sick toddler this week has been a bit exhausting,  and I am blessed enough to have a husband who is a HUGE help.  However, tonight, both my little ones tuckered out early, and I am enjoying this time to relax a little.  I am sure this means they will be up at dawn tomorrow, but for right now, I am thankful for this moment.  

Today I am thankful for an early bedtime.  

Day 7 of Thankfulness: Staying at Home

Today I am thankful to be able to stay at home with my children.  Making the decision to take the year off from school to stay at home with Elena and Franklin was an incredibly challenging one that I struggled with for several months before making.  However, I cannot not express how grateful I am that I did.  Getting to spend each day with my little ones is a challenge, but I would not trade it for anything.  I am also blessed that the work I do as a community advisor for family housing is mostly done from home.  I am thankful, that when I am up all night with a sick little one, I do not have to be in class or work the next day, I can just be with them.  Loving them, sharing with them, growing with them.  Although staying at home is not my long-term plan, I am thankful that it is the plan for right now.  Besides, long term plans change all the time, but right now, I am enjoying spending my days with two of the greatest people on this planet. 

Today I am thankful to be able to stay at home with my children. 

Day 6 of Thankfulness: Food

Today I am thankful to be able to buy enough healthy food for my family. While living on a very limited student stipend can be a financial challenge, my family has never had to go without food. And more than that we have never had to go without healthy food. We have chosen to make sacrifices in other areas of spending in our lives to be able to buy an abundant amount of fresh organic vegetables, humanely raised meats and dairy whenever possible, and even the occasional treat like ice cream and half flats of raspberries from the farmers market. I am thankful that I never have to sacrifice my family’s nutrition.

Today I am thankful to be able to buy enough healthy food for my family. When I came home from the store today and emptied my groceries onto the dining room table, I could not help but feel incredibly blessed to have so much. What I buy in one week is what many families get in an entire month. And I am not talking about in a third world country half way around the world, I mean right here, in my own town, some families are going without. Tonight instead of being stressed about making dinner while trying to keep the kids out of the kitchen, I felt blessed to be able to make dinner. I felt blessed chopping each vegetable and sautéing each mushroom. There is a man who sits outside of our local market with a sign asking for food. Franklin likes to give him an apple or some change as we pass by, but next week I think we will bring him a bag of food. I am much too blessed to not give it away.

Today I am thankful to be able to buy enough healthy food for my family.