We Can Do It!

I should probably just change the name of my blog to "Stop Beating Your Self Up.”  As I sit down to write this entry I realize I basically write about this topic only every other time I write.  That is, the topic of realizing that you as a mother, you as a person, are enough.  Should we always strive to be better?  Sure, of course we should.  I am a huge promoter of growth, and stretching, and expanding out of your comfort zone.  But do I also think it is just as important to be content, to give yourself credit for everything you are doing right now? Absolutely.  Today I came across this list of the "10 Greatest Ways to Be An Unhappy Mother".  I LOVE this list.  Here are the main points I received from reading this:

1.  STOP COMPARING!  Comparing the outside of other people's lives with the inside of yours is dangerous, and just inaccurate.  

2.  While having goals is important, so is being content.  It would be fabulous to be one of those women who have endless amounts of energy and accomplish like 20 things before their children are even awake, but I am not.  I need coffee before I am friendly, and I need to focus on one thing at a time.  This is something HUGE I have learned to be ok with this year.  More on that in another entry. 

3.  DON’T DO IT ALONE!!!  I cannot stress how important this one is.  I fell guilty to #8 on the list in a big way when Franklin was born.  However, by the time Elena came around I got smart and got out.  Ok, so I know not everyone is as lucky as I am to share a backyard with a community of parents who are living my same "spouse in graduate school" life and are available to lend a helping hand without ever even being asked.  Nevertheless, for the sake of your sanity (and the sanity of your partner and children) find your community.  Find a playgroup, find a friend to swap childcare with once a week, invite other parents over, go to the park with people, and just BE with other people.  

It can be difficult to love and accept ourselves.  Especially, when we are investing so much of our time and effort to the well being of others.  However, what I am trying to learn is that unless I am nice to myself, how can I teach my children to be nice to themselves?  To be confident, capable little beings?  The answer is I cannot.  

While cruising Pintrest for a Halloween costume for myself (yes, I still like dressing up), I ran across this picture.  

How awesome is that?!  I am totally going to be Rosie the Riveter! So here is my final thought.  Already, as we are, we are this awesome.  Mamas just by being you, you too are this bad ass.  

Preschool! When did this whole growing up thing happen?!?!

Franklin is now in his 3rd week of preschool!  I am so proud of my little man, it has not been an easy transition, but he keeps going.  There are usually some tears,  but by the time we pick him up he has dozens of stories of caterpillars, painting, stories, songs, bunnies and even some friends.  Frank has never EVER been in any kind of childcare (excluding staying a couple of hours with neighbors or family members) so this has been huge for us all.  My sweet boy has such an observant sensitive heart, which is my favorite thing about him; it just needs a little extra gentleness and care.  I have to remember that.  To be gentle with his fragile heart.  I need to remember to embrace it.  No, I do not need him to "toughen up.”  Being tough is over rated.  Being sensitive, in tune, courageous, hopeful, observant, and expressive; now that is the kind of person that makes this world a better place.  And my dear sweet sensitive son, is in fact already doing just that.  

Getting ready to leave for the first day of school!

My sweet heart

Silly goose of a moose!

 

With an apprehensive mama

My two favorite guys on the planet!

Painting his "house" at school

 Working hard

 Showing off his school sign 

LOVES riding his bike to school like a big kid 

Ice cream celebration after first day of school at Rick's.  

It's no Prince Pucklers, but it does the job.

Sharing with Dede

WARNING: Sappy Post Ahead!

This post is a little sappy, ok a lot sappy.  But hey,  cut me some slack, I miss my hubby and our anniversary is coming up.  Nick is gone on a research trip for 3 1/2 weeks. We really miss having daddy around, and not only because I can't make him change the poopy diapers.  This situation, him being gone, is kind of funny.  I mean in one way, I can't help but feel a little confident.  Like, wow I am actually doing this, taking care of these kiddos, being without my Nicholas. I am my own person, and I am strong enough to be my own person.  However, at the exact same time I can't stop feeling and thinking about how happy I am that I get to do this, our family, my life's journey WITH Nick.  Everything, is better with him.  I am my own capable person, but he, helps make me better.  I can be a good mom on my own, but with him, I have the ability to be a great mom.  I am strong on my own, but with him, I am capable of not only surviving but thriving through the tough stuff. I want to teach my children that who they want to be and what they can do, does not need to be completely dependent on their partner, but that if they find one that supports, enriches, and helps make their journeys that much richer, than to love that person.  Respect that person.  Give to that person, in a way that reflects their love. 

I checked my myspace for the first time in like 3 years and found some great old pictures.  Here are a few gems I found of our young love :-) 

Playing with photoshop 

New York 2008

Nerds

Gosh this must have been around 2002! 

Newlyweds

We're babies! 

Furniture shopping...pre kids, when shopping didn't end in tears, for all four of us! 

Apparently we like to take pictures of our selves sharing drinks

On our honeymoon

I'm still here!

I've realized anytime we are in Oregon I become a very lazy blogger.  Ok, maybe just lazy.  The days go quickly filled with family and buisiness, and not to mention "sleeping in" (thanks mama-in-law!)  I do miss my house.  Having things organized in the way I'm used to, my wonderful neighbors, who make the tough days of parenting a little easier, and the fact that our place is within walking distance of the grocery store, farmers market, campus and the library.  However, there is something rejuvenating about being "home" in Oregon.  We come here, recharge our batteries, pick fresh berries, play with cousins, grandparents, and friends, enjoy a life that is well, a little simpler.  By the end we are ready to be in our own place again, a little more rested to take on the adventures we have set out to accomplish.   We still have a little over another month left here in Oregon, unfortunately Nick will be gone doing research for most of it.  Perhaps I can convince that wonderful mother-in-law I mentioned earlier to come back to Stanford with us to rejuvenate from Nick being gone (*wink *wink).

I will work on uploading pictures of our amazing summer soon, I promise.  It's funny how something as simple as my computer-camera chord not hanging right next to the computer like it is at home would prevent me from uploading the pictures this entire time, but it does.  See?  Lazy.  

Here are a couple of pictures to wet your whistle while you are waiting on the edge of your seats, as I am sure you are doing.

tee-lalh

Happy 1st Birthday Baby Girl!

Happy 1st birthday to my darling Elenita.  You love trains and babies equally.  Roar like a lion and blow endless kisses.  You lipsync to Glee and dance with your brother to Beck. You're not afraid to be you and that is wonderful news since I wouldn't want you to be anyone else.  May you always keep this freedom to be yourself, while loving and caring for others in the process.  And above all, may I always support you in doing this. 

Happy birthday baby girl! 

Marshmallows, Graham Crackers and a View

You know that saying, "When it rains, it pours"?  Well today I thought there was going to be a flood!  After accidentally having supplies mailed to our address in Oregon instead of here, in California, where I needed them to be, for an event I am hosting on Friday...TWICE (!!!), I spent the morning running around town trying to find items (such as 150 bouncy balls at a reasonable price) before Nick headed to school.  In case you were holding your breath, do not worry I found them.  Now my only problem is trying to figure out what the heck I am going to do with 150 bouncy balls that got shipped to my in-laws home. Happy Father's Day perhaps?  

Moving on.  Have I mentioned that my three-year-old is no longer napping?  Who knows, this may be totally normal, however my plan was to make him nap until he moved out.  But today, when I went to lay Elena down, I came back to this...

(This NEVER happens by the way)

Looks sweet right?  Well, even though my sleeping toddler makes me count my every blessing, it also means his father is currently still trying to get him to sleep (it's almost 10pm by the way).  Seeing this sweet child slumber, you would never guess that minutes later I would be sitting in this very chair rocking him and his sister who both decided to throw an hour-long cry fest.  Why you ask?  I am still not completely sure.  Oh, and did I mention I had a migraine?  Well, I did not have the energy to fight the fit, nor the creativity or patience to re-direct it.  So what did we do?  I grabbed a box of graham crackers, and a bag of marshmallows and we ran for the hills.  Literally, well almost literally.  We didn’t run, we drove, but we did head for the hills.  We drove and drove and drove, eating marshmallows and graham crackers, with the sub roof open and sang along to the Glee soundtrack at the top of our lungs. 

Eventually we found a beautiful spot to pull over, and my children were the people I knew and loved once again.  Every once in a while you are in a moment, and you realize, I am smack in the middle of a memory I will love and cherish for the rest of my life. Today was one of those days.  My children and I took in a breathless view of the bay,  found sticks, smelled some flowers, and even sat in silence.  Franklin told me he wanted to just sit and think for a while.  When I asked him what he was thinking about, he said "About the books I need to read" Man oh man my cup runneth over!  

So I may not win the mother-of-the-year award as far as nutritious snacks for the day were concerned (I think I may have forgot to mention we later went to an ice cream party, whoops!),  but I am pretty proud of myself for choosing to turn a bad situation into one of my favorite days of all time.   As parents we are often so hard on ourselves.  We dwell on all the things we screw up, instead of acknowledging all the things we do right. However, I like to think Franklin will recall our day of marshmallows, graham crackers and a beautiful view more often than when I yelled at him for picking up his baby sister by the neck.  So let us take the time to pat ourselves on the back once in a while, and acknowledge our endless efforts to try to be better parents, better people.